So much to do!!

So, I leave for Oregon in 2 days.  I get to be reunited with my love and hang out with family.

I have a ton to do in the next few days...I was going to work overtime because I have a ton to do at work as well but I just don't have time. I have too much to do.

I am really looking forward to seeing my love again...I said goodbye Monday morning and I'll see him Friday night. I hate when we're apart!  It's going to be a good Christmas.

I feel so terrible for the families in Connecticut who do not get to be with their loved ones this Christmas. What a horrible nightmare that must be. I'm sick of hearing people blame gun control or autism. I'm sure there are a thousand little things that led up to that kid doing this horrible thing. He was clearly mentally ill which is NOT the same as autism. And my first reaction was "people shouldn't have easy access to guns" too but some pointed out to me that he would have just used something else. He was just sick, clearly, and it's a terrible thing that happened.  I don't want to read anything about guns or autism. I just want to read about the lives that were lost and share in the grief of their loss. And be grateful my beautiful children are safe and well...hug them close and never take them for granted.

Can't wait to hug and smooch my soul mate!! 

My Ocean and Me

This song popped up on Pandora and totally reminded me of Justin and I since he travels so much:

“In My Arms” by Jon Foreman:

Here, my dear
This is where
We'll shake the nightmares free
I dream to hold you in my arms
I dream to hold you in my arms
To hold you in my arms
Wide awake in my arms

I think I figured it out
We need to be together
Like the shore and the sea
We are not one thing
We're drawn here together
My ocean and me

I dream to hold you in my arms
I dream to hold you in my arms
To hold you in my arms
Wide awake in my arms
Love we sleep apart
For the last time
For the last time

I dream to hold you in my arms
I dream to hold you in my arms
To hold you in my arms
Wide awake in my arms
Wide awake in my arms
Wide awake in my arms
Wide awake in my arms

Here, my dear
This is where
We'll shake the nightmares free

I dream to hold you in my arms
I dream to hold you in my arms
To hold you in my arms
Wide awake in my arms

I think I figured it out
We need to be together
Like the shore and the sea
We are not one thing
We're drawn here together
My ocean and me
I dream to hold you in my arms
I dream to hold you in my arms
To hold you in my arms
Wide awake in my arms
Love we sleep apart
For the last time
For the last time

I dream to hold you in my arms
I dream to hold you in my arms
To hold you in my arms
Wide awake in my arms
Wide awake in my arms
Wide awake in my arms
Wide awake in my arms

Lovely! I sent this to Justin and he replied "I looove you!!"

Can't wait to hold him in my arms again this weekend...and soon after we go to Oregon for holiday fun!!!!! So excited.

Melted Heart

I get him back in only a little over 24 hours!  So happy about that.  Today he sent me this email:

"I don't think you will ever really know or understand how much you mean to me....I feel so dang lucky to have you."

Swoon/melt!

I feel lucky, too, my love. Hurry home!!!

Losing Sleep

One of the things I notice about when Justin is off on a business trip is that I do not sleep very well. When he is home I sleep like a baby but when he is away falling asleep is difficult. I tend to get only 4-5 hours per night. I'm so exhausted! I couldn't run this morning...not on less than 4 hours of sleep.   I'll run after work for sure.

He just sent me an email that said:

"I already love you forever.  It feels awesome!"

I love his words.

I've been keeping really busy...only have to get through another 2 days, 2 hours and 10 minutes before I am in his arms again. Oh, and I got a photo from the couple who adopted Finn today! He looks so happy and he's getting so big! 

I think tonight might be a Motrin PM kind of night...but despite my exhaustion I am really happy. And really looking forward to Thursday!

My Justin

I took Mia on a bike ride around the neighborhood to see Christmas lights. I texted Justin to let him know what we were doing (he's en route to somewhere for work right now):

Justin: Lucky punk!!!...that sounds like so much fun right now!!
Me: It is!
Justin: I miss them! I miss my family. You guys are the best thing in my life.
Me: You are super missed. You are my life!
Justin: You are my wife! :)

I love that..."You are my wife..."

I love being his wife. It's not legal yet but what's a piece of paper? We live like married people. We share expenses (though not bank accounts because I am not a money grubbing bitch like some of his ex girlfriends), we share a home, we both care for the kids and pets, we both do chores, we take vacations...we are going to spend the rest of our lives together.

I remember how I felt when the gravity of my first marriage hit me...it was a "Oh, shit...what have I done?" kind of thing when the concept of marriage really hit me. It was not good. I was only 21 and I realized I had made a huge mistake.

When I think about spending my life with Justin I feel content...lucky...and really excited. It just feels right. Everything about him has felt correct since the first time we met. Best date ever...best first kiss ever...best brown chicken brown cow EVER...I had never felt more comfortable with another person in my life. He understands me...he sees me. I have felt like I could be myself from the very beginning...I've never had to hide anything from him. I let him see the good and the bad. And he is awesome at communicating. He can always make me laugh or at least smile.

I just asked him if growing old with me scares him...he said "not in the slightest...actually makes me want to workout more so I will be around longer."  Well, he said more than that but I won't share the rest because it's dirty...which is another thing I love about him. He is the only man who has ever been able to keep up with me...mentally or physically. It's really refreshing. I spent 8 years in a marriage that lacked any kind of chemistry and now every time is like the finale of a fireworks show. /sigh 

I love my life.

Productivity

The weekends I always enjoy the most include two important elements...Justin and getting a lot of shit done. I only had my love for about 18 hours this weekend but they were 18 awesome hours. I love being next to him. I finished my PJ pants so now we both have a pair made by me and we had yummy pizza and snuggled on the couch catching up on our shows. The PJs were super comfy but they were a bit long...I totally slipped and fell because they are so long. Justin was laughing and I was laughing so hard I couldn't breathe...that's going to leave a bruise or two!  Here are the pants:

I saw this fabric when I was looking for fabric for him and I loved it...kitties saying "Meow so lucky??"  Hilarious. And super cozy. I was pleased with the result, overall. Now we both have cozy PJs!

I love making things for him!!!

I'm so exhausted...time to sleep.

I love how many times a day he tells me he loves me. He and I have spoken every single day since the day we met except for when he was in Vienna in April 2011...and he emailed me constantly and wrote in a little book to me. I even found some poems he wrote about me.  He asked me to marry him back then...when he was in Vienna. Maybe 3 months after we met?...and I almost did it. But I wanted to be smart about things...I wanted to be sure. Even though I was already head over heels I didn't want to rush anything. I had never felt that way about anyone before. All the feelings I had called love before him didn't even come close to what I felt for him...and now all of those "loves" seem so shallow and insignificant. Even my first marriage. He says he feels the same way...that no woman in his life ever made him feel the way he feels about me.  Not even close. (Suck it, bitches!)

Do you know how amazing it is to feel this and to know the person you love is also that much in love with you?  It's what it's all about, I have decided. It's what makes life worth living.

What was it he told me...back when we realized he'd have to move to TX if this was going to work...?  Oh, yes...he said "You ruined my life for the better."

Goodnight, my love. You're far away tonight but I feel close to you...you're always in my heart and always on my mind.

Work, Work, Work!

So, Justin came home yesterday but he was off again this morning. I should have him back this weekend. The kids are at their dad's until Monday. I didn't have Justin long...we had dinner, examined the Christmas gifts we ordered for people that came this week (and did a lot of laughing), he had to do a business call kinda late so we really just went to bed (wink) after that and then went to sleep.

Waking up this morning was so nice...I love the feel of his body next to mine. We snuggle well...he's my perfect Lego. I felt so content.

While he's away I will be pretty much doing nothing but working. Overtime = Christmas gifts.  I love, love, love giving Christmas presents! I cannot even tell you how excited I am about going to his parents' house for Christmas. It will be so much fun. I depart for Oregon in 22 days, 9 hours, 30 minutes. Justin keeps saying how excited he is about the trip too.

This weekend I am determined to get some projects done! I bought some fabric for less than $12 (yay 50% off!) and used my new staple gun to redo the fabric on the dining chairs. This dining set was given to me and the fabric that was on the chairs was a light color and all kinds of stained. My kids have just made them worse. They gross me out...so I made them better! I have one more chair to do...it's a bit of a pain.  See before and after:

Justin totally amazed me last week. I had said several times I wanted to get a kitty condo for our cat. We had an empty corner in the living room that would be perfect for such a thing and I figured she would like it. I didn't want to spend $100+ on such a thing so Justin designed and constructed one! All it cost was about $35 for the wood. I found a free carpet remnant on Craigslist and we had leftover stain from a previous project.

Here is the constructed condo before carpeting and staining:

Here's the kitty in the box!

Here's Justin adding the carpeting (after staining):

And the finished product:

He amazes me constantly.  I love him!!

This weekend I have some PJs to make...for me, Gavin and for a friend for Christmas.  I am tempted to make another handbag as a gift...it's been years since I made one so I don't know if I can still do it.

Ah, I miss him already.

Love love love

Today I emailed Justin the lyrics to Sarah McLachlan's Answer because it came up on Pandora and the lyrics made me think of him. He replied, "You are the cutest and most beautiful thing I have ever met!!!.... I'm convinced you are the best person in the world!"

I love him so much.

So excited about Christmas!  Less than 3.5 weeks until I go to Oregon. It will be a short but awesome trip.

He is away right now but I get him back tomorrow for about 12 hours...and then he comes back again this weekend. I miss him so when he's away.

So Thankful

Yesterday, Justin and I had our 2nd Thanksgiving together. Last year we cooked so much food and way too much turkey! And last year we had the kids and a friend of mine over and we all stuffed our bellies...and still had a ton of leftovers.

This year the kids spent the day with their dad and we spent the day with just each other. It was a really awesome day. We woke up and we both went for a run (we are officially in training for the Vienna half marathon in April!). Then we Skyped with his sister in Vienna...that was a treat. She showed us around their new house and we got to see the kiddos. Vinny sang us songs in multiple languages and read us a book. Elsie just smiled and stuck her tongue out at us. They are growing soooo fast! Vinny has so much hair now and Elsie is getting bigger every minute.

I remember how exhausting it was having two littles to care for...I can see she is feeling blessed but also very tired and mentally exhausted. I really can't wait to get there so I can give her some help and time off...I want to make sure they get a date night. Heck maybe we'll send her to a spa again like we did for her birthday this year. She needs it! I love those little kiddos so I am really looking forward to hanging out with them.  After we Skyped with Mollie we got ready to go see a movie. We saw Argo, per his mother's recommendation, and it was very good. We both enjoyed it. Then we got home and we got to cooking! This year he made Cornish game hens...yum. I made dinner rolls, mashed potatoes, stuffing, and dumplings (that didn't quite turn out...). We also had some wine, sparkling apple cider and steamed broccolini with aged cheddar. He had pumpkin pie after but I was too stuffed. We even gave the pug a plate of chicken and stuffing...she loved it.  The rest of the night we watched movies and cuddled while we digested our food. We went to bed fairly early.

I just feel so grateful and thankful to the universe. A lot of people are constantly searching for the love of their life...some never find it. Some settle for less (like I did the first time). But he and I found each other...we have only known each other 672 days but we both agree they are the best days we have had and it just keeps getting better. He tells me how much he loves me every day and it's such a good feeling...yesterday he told me I was the most interesting, most beautiful, most hilarious, most intelligent, most amazing girl he has ever been with and that he is very content and happy with life in a way he has never known before. I love how much he loves me. he knows all of my flaws and he still loves me and wants to spend his life with me. I feel the same...he is not perfect but he's my lobster...my soul mate (if such a thing existed).

He's almost been home 3 weeks but soon he will be off again for work assignments...but that's okay. I've filled my Justin tank and I can handle it. I am really looking forward to Christmas with him in Oregon.  I hope it snows but I think it will only rain.

I love you so much, Justin. You make life so wonderful.

73 Days

On Saturday I had to say goodbye to my baby Finn. I found him near the end of August. He almost got hit by the car in front of me so I jumped out of my car and coaxed him over to me. He was skinny, covered in fleas and shivering. I took him home and cleaned him up. I tried to find his owners but nobody claimed him. We got him neutered, vaccinated and microchipped and started potty training him. He was so smart Justin was able to teach him a ton of tricks. I knew I couldn't keep him but I wasn't trying very hard to find him a home. I loved him.

But the time came when I accepted he couldn't stay and I was responsible for finding him the perfect home.

On Saturday I finally found the perfect home and I released him to them. Handing over his leash was one of the top 10 worst moments of my life. I've been crying for days but I talked to his new owner this morning and they love him so much already. He is doing really well. She says it's clear Justin and I took amazing care of him. And he is potty trained for sure...no accidents. He just goes to the door and barks once to say "I need to go!"

I was so sad Saturday night and all day yesterday but Justin surprised me by coming home 4 days early yesterday. I got home from running errands and he was there. I didn't even turn the car off...I just ran and jumped on him. He has a cold but I will get him healthy again. I got him some sick supplies this morning (soup, Dayquil, Halls, etc) so I hope he gets better soon. He makes me feel so much better just by being home.

I really miss that puppy but I feel good knowing we saved a life and found him a perfect home.

We had him for 73 days. I'll miss you, Finny.

Super Huge Bummer

So, something came up last minute and Justin has to leave Halloween morning.  Not a huge deal. I'll just tag along with the kids and their dad and watch them trick or treat. It's a bummer though...won't see him again until the 7th. And I was really looking forward to it.

So, we'll just make the most of tomorrow night.  ;)

I am really looking forward to Christmas...we're going to his parents' house. We're even bringing the pug. I am really looking forward to it. His mom and I talk all the time and it will be fun to hang out with her! She's the best mother in law ever. I hope it snows...cuddling with him by a fire while it snows sounds amazing.

The kids are in bed now...and I am winding down for the night.  Oh, last night Justin called me while he was driving to wherever his work the next day was and said "You are SO CUTE!"  At first I didn't know what he was talking to...but then he mentioned the podcast he always listens to. I wrote in to Tony Kornheiser's podcast and asked him to pass Justin a message...let him know how much better life is now. And Tony read the email on his show! I even asked him if we wanted to come to our wedding...he said "I might!"  Well, we will mark you down as a maybe, Mr. Tony.  Justin was pleasantly surprised...that played out just as I had hoped! 

The kids' dad did Halloween this year and I must admit he did a great job. Our kids are always well costumed each year. Here are some previous years:

Gavin as a Jedi, 2006

Gavin as Starkiller from The Force Unleashed, 2008

Mia as Dorothy, 2008

Jaina, the devil, 2008

Mia as Mulan, 2009

Gavin as Jengo Fett, 2009

Mia as Hitgirl, 2010

Mia as Hitgirl, 2010

Gavin as a Ninja, 2010

 

 

 

 

Mia as the Corpse Bride, 2011

A closer view of the Corpse Bride

Gavin as Darth Maul, 2011

This year their dad spent weeks making them custom bounty hunter (Star Wars) costumes. They wore them to Comic-Con yesterday and got a ton of attention. I'll post pictures when I have good ones. They look great. Next year Halloween is all me again...I bet Justin will help me with the costumes. He's good at that. I love working on projects with him.

Time to read more of my book before bed. 

Here's a great text from Justin today...he was talking about how cool it was to get my message from his favorite podcast and I said "I hope you know how much I love you."  He replied, "I think I do...that's why I am actually the happiest I have ever been in my life."

It's a very good and amazing feeling to know you are part of what makes the one you love so happy. I sometimes feel so full of love for him that it really feels like it's spilling out of me.

I'm the happiest I have ever been, too...even when his job takes him from me for a little while. I know he's coming home. I know he's thinking about me.  I know he would rather be with me than anywhere else in the world.  It's a really good feeling.  :)

I emailed him when he was on his plane today. I told him I missed him already.  His reply:

"It does suck to be away from you...but my heart always feels full because I have you."

He's so wonderful and he says the most lovely words to me. He'll be back soon. He'll be home for Halloween. We're going to pass candy out to the neighborhood kids. He says he has never done that before. He wanted to scare the shit out of kids but I talked him out of that. Look at Claire on Modern Family...they avoid the scary houses!  Maybe he will be satisfied with carving a scary pumpkin.

Today I took Finn to the Pit Bull Pride parade. We got to hang out with Ralph & Kim and their pit Tyson. Finn and Tyson have become best buddies.

After the parade and the festival Finn and I were both exhausted. He went right to sleep when we got home.

He's such a sweet pup.

We got our pug a costume...she hates us so much.  Haha!

Sorry, princess!

Overall, this was a good weekend...miss my love but he makes me feel so loved that I don't feel alone even when he's far away.

Goodnight, love bug.

Laughing ourselves to sleep

Last night Justin and I decided to go to bed early so we could get up early. So, we're in bed trying to settle and go to sleep...but we can't stop laughing. He kept doing this Creole accent and saying insane things about a book on his grandma's bed...he was speaking complete and total nonsense but I could not stop laughing...and then he'd laugh and keep doing it and I was laughing so hard that I couldn't breathe or even make noise anymore. I love his sense of humor. He just makes me laugh all the time. I went to sleep with a sore tummy from laughing so hard.

I really love that.

This morning he's in the office with me. He looks so good in a suit and tie...I love watching him walk around the office. Sometimes I notice girls noticing him and I smile...yes, ladies. He looks damn good, doesn't he?  What I love the most about noticing them noticing him is that he only sees me...he really only sees me. I remember when we first met and we didn't think there was any chance of us being together but we knew we really liked each other he said I ruined hot girls for him forever...because he only wanted me.

It's the same for me...I used to notice guys left and right. Ever since I met him I see only people with blurry faces around me.  And then I catch his eye across the room...and I see him walking toward me looking so delicious in his suit and tie...and he is this bright, sharp beacon in a room full of blurred faces. And I melt. Even after 643 days the sight of him causes my breath to stop for a moment.

He brought me coffee this morning.  I love him so much.

169 days until Vienna!!!!

Home again, Home again

Ah, I love when he's home. It was a bit of a chaotic evening because I had to help the kids with homework, get them both fed, and make some cupcakes for Gavin's class. Justin helped out by giving Mia a practice spelling test while I frosted cupcakes. That was damn cute. He's such a good parent. He'll be the best dad if we decide to have one (we are still undecided...mostly because *I* am undecided...).

I am really looking forward to this weekend. The kiddos will be with their dad so we'll get some much coveted alone time. This morning I woke up and my hand was in his hand again. I cannot express just how much I love that.

Someday he won't have to travel so much. We are both looking forward to that.

Now I get him for almost a week...we can catch up on our shows, cook together, play with the pups, kiss, cuddle, go on some dates.

Life with him is so good.

Holy Crazy Weekend, Batman!

Wow, what a busy weekend this was! Justin is away so it was just me holding down the fort. It was Gavin's birthday on Saturday.  I woke up, cleaned things, we went to his party...did the party (which he loved!), went to the store to pick up birthday gifts for other kids who had a birthday party later that day, rushed home, took the pup on a quick play date with a neighbor pup, came home, cleaned more, drove Mia to that other birthday party, found they had put the time on the invite 30 minutes before the thing actually started...waited...dropped her there, went to pick up a kid Gavin wanted over for the night for his bday, took the boys out for a birthday dinner, picked up Mia and one of her friends...took all the kids back to the house and then cleaned and kept everyone entertained for hours until they all FINALLY went to sleep at like 2 in the morning! Then they woke up at 8 somehow and I made them all pancakes, kept cleaning and doing laundry until all the parents picked their kids up at noon, worked on a school project with Mia for about 4 hours, sewed their patches on their karate uniforms, cleaned more, went to the store...more laundry...

Kids are in bed now. I am still cleaning things.

I am freaking tired.

Justin comes home tomorrow...I am SO excited. I am cleaning like mad so all we have to do tomorrow night is eat dinner and make out.  We're gonna do a movie night with the kiddos and maybe play with the chemistry set he got Gavin for his birthday.

Hurry home, my love...I miss you so much. I am not whole when you're away.

Busy October

I have to really appreciate each and every moment this month when Justin is home because they are calling him away a lot. I sleep better when he's home...and generally feel better too.  Despite all the travel things have been so great. I am finally getting my neck/back injury taken care of. Say what you will about chiropractors but in one visit I feel a thousand times better...almost feel like I can start running again. I need to really start training for Vienna.

If only it would cool down...I think Texas didn't get the memo that it's mid-October now...shouldn't be in the 90s, Texas! WTF?

Justin and I both dislike Texas but we also both know we can live anywhere as long as we're together. And it won't be forever. We're out of here as soon as possible...it just might be another 9 years. And we can go anywhere...it really doesn't matter where. So long as we're together.

The rest of this month is going to be so busy. Gavin's birthday is this weekend...I hate birthday parties. I will be glad when that is done. He's so excited though...my little baby is turning 9! And it turns out he has the very same birthday as my beautiful sister in law's baby bug, Vinny, who will be 2. They grow so quickly!

We still have little Finn...he's the best dog. I won't let him go to anywhere but the very best. We're still looking for a home for him but we're being really picky.

I miss Justin! Good thing he is at home waiting for me...I love that so much. Being with him is my favorite.

Happy Tuesday!

Still have the pup...

The lady changed her mind and we still have the pup.  He's been pretty good lately but I am still looking for a home for him.

Justin comes home tomorrow...well, it's after midnight so I guess technically today...SO HAPPY! I cannot wait to jump into his arms.

Why am I awake???

Sometimes the right decision isn't the easy one...

In fact, the right decision seems to always be the hard one, doesn't it?

About a month and a half ago I found a lost puppy. He was about 8 weeks old, covered in fleas, dirty, starving and adorable.

I tried to find his home but nobody legitimate claimed him. By the time I accepted we weren't going to find his owners Justin was madly in love with him.

Justin loves pups more than anyone I have ever met. He fell for this pup right away. I did too but not nearly as hard.

When Justin was home everything was fine...the dog had someone to be with all day and Justin is great with dogs. But Justin travels a lot and he's gone a lot lately. I work really long hours. The dogs behavior began to change...he was being less good, more naughty.

A few days ago I worked a 12 hour shift and yesterday an 11.5 hour shift. Nobody was home so I put the pup in our bathroom with food, water, pee pads and tons of toys. It's not a tiny bathroom...about the size of a shelter kennel if not bigger...but he was in there too long and he ate the floor.  That's right...ate the floor...he ripped the linoleum off the floor and chewed it all up. There is a huge part of the floor missing now.

This was a wake up call for me. I liked the dog...but my pug doesn't really like him. In fact, she's been miserable most of the time since he got here. He also chewed up and ruined 3 pairs of my shoes and destroyed my flower bed...he's exhausting. These are all puppy things I was overlooking...tolerating. But eating the floor?  No, sir. And I realized it's really uncool to lock a puppy up for 12 hours.  We clearly don't have the lifestyle that matches this pup. He needs to roam free.

So, I found him a new home. A nice lady at work wants to take him. She lives on 10 acres and will spoil him with love. She has 3 teenage kids who will love him and play with him.

We give him to her Sunday. I'm sad...I spent all of yesterday crying. But I think it's the right thing to do.

And Justin is bummed but he knows it's best for this pup. The kids cried when I told them today. It wasn't a fun time.

We saved him...so we could find him the perfect home.  We should feel good about that.

But Sunday is going to suck.

When he's away...

My gorgeous finance's job makes him travel a lot so it's common for him to be gone for a week or more at a time. These times bum me out and he knows that so he makes a lot of extra effort to make sure I feel loved. I do notice this and I do appreciate it.  He sends me pictures of everything he eats. He keeps in constant contact. He always says goodnight. Last night's text: "Goodnight, my love. You are my everything."

What a lovely thing to read just before drifting off to sleep!

I just keep busy, work a lot of extra hours and countdown to when he comes home.  2 days, 15 hours remaining...not so bad. Cannot wait to welcome him home and spend the weekend with him and the kids.

And at the end of each day, I have a thousand reminders that he loves me more than anything. It's comforting. I love him so much! Can a person die of happiness?

Feeling Lucky...620 days later...

So, I deleted all my previous posts. They were all about dieting anyway.

I want this blog to chronicle the positive things in my life. Because there really are so many. I am not blogging to share with anyone. I don't think anyone really cares...at least I don't expect them to. I honestly just want to focus on and log all the joy in my life. As a frequent affirmation of what I have and where I am.

You know all those books, songs, movies, poems and plays about love? I used to think they were just humanity's collective, wishful thinking. I believed we could "love" each other and we could get along and be fine but the kind of love that hits you like lightning and makes you weak in the knees just couldn't be real...and if it was, it certainly couldn't last.

It actually is real. It's just not common.

And when you find it you have to really hold on to it for dear life, come what may. I found it on 1/21/2011. And I am never taking it for granted.

He makes me smile every single day. I still get those feelings...the little jolts of electricity when he looks at me, touches me, kisses me, or even just texts or emails me. Even after 620 days.

He's my Mr. Darcy. “The very first moment I beheld him, my heart was irrevocably gone.”  “I must learn to be content with being happier than I deserve.”  Ah, I love Jane Austen so...

I cannot even convey to him in words how happy he makes me so I certainly won't try to here.

I am happy. I am content. I am lucky. I am excited about my future. I am gratful he constantly makes effort to make me happy...when I am happy, he is happy. When he is happy, I am happy.

Hapiness is lovely, universe. I don't know why I was lucky enough to find it but I am so grateful.

Oh, I cannot wait until we go to Vienna next year! I miss Mollie and Vinny...and I am dying to meet little Elsie...my beautiful, soon-to-be future neice. Justin is dying to show me around Vienna. I guess the last time he took someone to Vienna he didn't really want to be there with her. I can't imagine spending all that money (and he had to pay for everything) on someone you weren't having fun with. I saw a few pictures of him during that trip...he wasn't having a good time at all. She was all smiles but his eyes were weary and closed down.

My goal is to make sure he has the best time ever...to let him show me everything there as he's been saying he wants to...to pay my part without expecting him to pay for everything...to take pictures with his eyes shining with happiness...to help my future sister and give her some rest...and, of course, to finish my first half marathon. It's going to be amazing!

I love being in love.