Super Huge Bummer

So, something came up last minute and Justin has to leave Halloween morning.  Not a huge deal. I'll just tag along with the kids and their dad and watch them trick or treat. It's a bummer though...won't see him again until the 7th. And I was really looking forward to it.

So, we'll just make the most of tomorrow night.  ;)

I am really looking forward to Christmas...we're going to his parents' house. We're even bringing the pug. I am really looking forward to it. His mom and I talk all the time and it will be fun to hang out with her! She's the best mother in law ever. I hope it snows...cuddling with him by a fire while it snows sounds amazing.

The kids are in bed now...and I am winding down for the night.  Oh, last night Justin called me while he was driving to wherever his work the next day was and said "You are SO CUTE!"  At first I didn't know what he was talking to...but then he mentioned the podcast he always listens to. I wrote in to Tony Kornheiser's podcast and asked him to pass Justin a message...let him know how much better life is now. And Tony read the email on his show! I even asked him if we wanted to come to our wedding...he said "I might!"  Well, we will mark you down as a maybe, Mr. Tony.  Justin was pleasantly surprised...that played out just as I had hoped! 

The kids' dad did Halloween this year and I must admit he did a great job. Our kids are always well costumed each year. Here are some previous years:

Gavin as a Jedi, 2006

Gavin as Starkiller from The Force Unleashed, 2008

Mia as Dorothy, 2008

Jaina, the devil, 2008

Mia as Mulan, 2009

Gavin as Jengo Fett, 2009

Mia as Hitgirl, 2010

Mia as Hitgirl, 2010

Gavin as a Ninja, 2010

 

 

 

 

Mia as the Corpse Bride, 2011

A closer view of the Corpse Bride

Gavin as Darth Maul, 2011

This year their dad spent weeks making them custom bounty hunter (Star Wars) costumes. They wore them to Comic-Con yesterday and got a ton of attention. I'll post pictures when I have good ones. They look great. Next year Halloween is all me again...I bet Justin will help me with the costumes. He's good at that. I love working on projects with him.

Time to read more of my book before bed. 

Here's a great text from Justin today...he was talking about how cool it was to get my message from his favorite podcast and I said "I hope you know how much I love you."  He replied, "I think I do...that's why I am actually the happiest I have ever been in my life."

It's a very good and amazing feeling to know you are part of what makes the one you love so happy. I sometimes feel so full of love for him that it really feels like it's spilling out of me.

I'm the happiest I have ever been, too...even when his job takes him from me for a little while. I know he's coming home. I know he's thinking about me.  I know he would rather be with me than anywhere else in the world.  It's a really good feeling.  :)

I emailed him when he was on his plane today. I told him I missed him already.  His reply:

"It does suck to be away from you...but my heart always feels full because I have you."

He's so wonderful and he says the most lovely words to me. He'll be back soon. He'll be home for Halloween. We're going to pass candy out to the neighborhood kids. He says he has never done that before. He wanted to scare the shit out of kids but I talked him out of that. Look at Claire on Modern Family...they avoid the scary houses!  Maybe he will be satisfied with carving a scary pumpkin.

Today I took Finn to the Pit Bull Pride parade. We got to hang out with Ralph & Kim and their pit Tyson. Finn and Tyson have become best buddies.

After the parade and the festival Finn and I were both exhausted. He went right to sleep when we got home.

He's such a sweet pup.

We got our pug a costume...she hates us so much.  Haha!

Sorry, princess!

Overall, this was a good weekend...miss my love but he makes me feel so loved that I don't feel alone even when he's far away.

Goodnight, love bug.

Laughing ourselves to sleep

Last night Justin and I decided to go to bed early so we could get up early. So, we're in bed trying to settle and go to sleep...but we can't stop laughing. He kept doing this Creole accent and saying insane things about a book on his grandma's bed...he was speaking complete and total nonsense but I could not stop laughing...and then he'd laugh and keep doing it and I was laughing so hard that I couldn't breathe or even make noise anymore. I love his sense of humor. He just makes me laugh all the time. I went to sleep with a sore tummy from laughing so hard.

I really love that.

This morning he's in the office with me. He looks so good in a suit and tie...I love watching him walk around the office. Sometimes I notice girls noticing him and I smile...yes, ladies. He looks damn good, doesn't he?  What I love the most about noticing them noticing him is that he only sees me...he really only sees me. I remember when we first met and we didn't think there was any chance of us being together but we knew we really liked each other he said I ruined hot girls for him forever...because he only wanted me.

It's the same for me...I used to notice guys left and right. Ever since I met him I see only people with blurry faces around me.  And then I catch his eye across the room...and I see him walking toward me looking so delicious in his suit and tie...and he is this bright, sharp beacon in a room full of blurred faces. And I melt. Even after 643 days the sight of him causes my breath to stop for a moment.

He brought me coffee this morning.  I love him so much.

169 days until Vienna!!!!

Home again, Home again

Ah, I love when he's home. It was a bit of a chaotic evening because I had to help the kids with homework, get them both fed, and make some cupcakes for Gavin's class. Justin helped out by giving Mia a practice spelling test while I frosted cupcakes. That was damn cute. He's such a good parent. He'll be the best dad if we decide to have one (we are still undecided...mostly because *I* am undecided...).

I am really looking forward to this weekend. The kiddos will be with their dad so we'll get some much coveted alone time. This morning I woke up and my hand was in his hand again. I cannot express just how much I love that.

Someday he won't have to travel so much. We are both looking forward to that.

Now I get him for almost a week...we can catch up on our shows, cook together, play with the pups, kiss, cuddle, go on some dates.

Life with him is so good.

Holy Crazy Weekend, Batman!

Wow, what a busy weekend this was! Justin is away so it was just me holding down the fort. It was Gavin's birthday on Saturday.  I woke up, cleaned things, we went to his party...did the party (which he loved!), went to the store to pick up birthday gifts for other kids who had a birthday party later that day, rushed home, took the pup on a quick play date with a neighbor pup, came home, cleaned more, drove Mia to that other birthday party, found they had put the time on the invite 30 minutes before the thing actually started...waited...dropped her there, went to pick up a kid Gavin wanted over for the night for his bday, took the boys out for a birthday dinner, picked up Mia and one of her friends...took all the kids back to the house and then cleaned and kept everyone entertained for hours until they all FINALLY went to sleep at like 2 in the morning! Then they woke up at 8 somehow and I made them all pancakes, kept cleaning and doing laundry until all the parents picked their kids up at noon, worked on a school project with Mia for about 4 hours, sewed their patches on their karate uniforms, cleaned more, went to the store...more laundry...

Kids are in bed now. I am still cleaning things.

I am freaking tired.

Justin comes home tomorrow...I am SO excited. I am cleaning like mad so all we have to do tomorrow night is eat dinner and make out.  We're gonna do a movie night with the kiddos and maybe play with the chemistry set he got Gavin for his birthday.

Hurry home, my love...I miss you so much. I am not whole when you're away.

Busy October

I have to really appreciate each and every moment this month when Justin is home because they are calling him away a lot. I sleep better when he's home...and generally feel better too.  Despite all the travel things have been so great. I am finally getting my neck/back injury taken care of. Say what you will about chiropractors but in one visit I feel a thousand times better...almost feel like I can start running again. I need to really start training for Vienna.

If only it would cool down...I think Texas didn't get the memo that it's mid-October now...shouldn't be in the 90s, Texas! WTF?

Justin and I both dislike Texas but we also both know we can live anywhere as long as we're together. And it won't be forever. We're out of here as soon as possible...it just might be another 9 years. And we can go anywhere...it really doesn't matter where. So long as we're together.

The rest of this month is going to be so busy. Gavin's birthday is this weekend...I hate birthday parties. I will be glad when that is done. He's so excited though...my little baby is turning 9! And it turns out he has the very same birthday as my beautiful sister in law's baby bug, Vinny, who will be 2. They grow so quickly!

We still have little Finn...he's the best dog. I won't let him go to anywhere but the very best. We're still looking for a home for him but we're being really picky.

I miss Justin! Good thing he is at home waiting for me...I love that so much. Being with him is my favorite.

Happy Tuesday!

Still have the pup...

The lady changed her mind and we still have the pup.  He's been pretty good lately but I am still looking for a home for him.

Justin comes home tomorrow...well, it's after midnight so I guess technically today...SO HAPPY! I cannot wait to jump into his arms.

Why am I awake???

Sometimes the right decision isn't the easy one...

In fact, the right decision seems to always be the hard one, doesn't it?

About a month and a half ago I found a lost puppy. He was about 8 weeks old, covered in fleas, dirty, starving and adorable.

I tried to find his home but nobody legitimate claimed him. By the time I accepted we weren't going to find his owners Justin was madly in love with him.

Justin loves pups more than anyone I have ever met. He fell for this pup right away. I did too but not nearly as hard.

When Justin was home everything was fine...the dog had someone to be with all day and Justin is great with dogs. But Justin travels a lot and he's gone a lot lately. I work really long hours. The dogs behavior began to change...he was being less good, more naughty.

A few days ago I worked a 12 hour shift and yesterday an 11.5 hour shift. Nobody was home so I put the pup in our bathroom with food, water, pee pads and tons of toys. It's not a tiny bathroom...about the size of a shelter kennel if not bigger...but he was in there too long and he ate the floor.  That's right...ate the floor...he ripped the linoleum off the floor and chewed it all up. There is a huge part of the floor missing now.

This was a wake up call for me. I liked the dog...but my pug doesn't really like him. In fact, she's been miserable most of the time since he got here. He also chewed up and ruined 3 pairs of my shoes and destroyed my flower bed...he's exhausting. These are all puppy things I was overlooking...tolerating. But eating the floor?  No, sir. And I realized it's really uncool to lock a puppy up for 12 hours.  We clearly don't have the lifestyle that matches this pup. He needs to roam free.

So, I found him a new home. A nice lady at work wants to take him. She lives on 10 acres and will spoil him with love. She has 3 teenage kids who will love him and play with him.

We give him to her Sunday. I'm sad...I spent all of yesterday crying. But I think it's the right thing to do.

And Justin is bummed but he knows it's best for this pup. The kids cried when I told them today. It wasn't a fun time.

We saved him...so we could find him the perfect home.  We should feel good about that.

But Sunday is going to suck.

When he's away...

My gorgeous finance's job makes him travel a lot so it's common for him to be gone for a week or more at a time. These times bum me out and he knows that so he makes a lot of extra effort to make sure I feel loved. I do notice this and I do appreciate it.  He sends me pictures of everything he eats. He keeps in constant contact. He always says goodnight. Last night's text: "Goodnight, my love. You are my everything."

What a lovely thing to read just before drifting off to sleep!

I just keep busy, work a lot of extra hours and countdown to when he comes home.  2 days, 15 hours remaining...not so bad. Cannot wait to welcome him home and spend the weekend with him and the kids.

And at the end of each day, I have a thousand reminders that he loves me more than anything. It's comforting. I love him so much! Can a person die of happiness?

Feeling Lucky...620 days later...

So, I deleted all my previous posts. They were all about dieting anyway.

I want this blog to chronicle the positive things in my life. Because there really are so many. I am not blogging to share with anyone. I don't think anyone really cares...at least I don't expect them to. I honestly just want to focus on and log all the joy in my life. As a frequent affirmation of what I have and where I am.

You know all those books, songs, movies, poems and plays about love? I used to think they were just humanity's collective, wishful thinking. I believed we could "love" each other and we could get along and be fine but the kind of love that hits you like lightning and makes you weak in the knees just couldn't be real...and if it was, it certainly couldn't last.

It actually is real. It's just not common.

And when you find it you have to really hold on to it for dear life, come what may. I found it on 1/21/2011. And I am never taking it for granted.

He makes me smile every single day. I still get those feelings...the little jolts of electricity when he looks at me, touches me, kisses me, or even just texts or emails me. Even after 620 days.

He's my Mr. Darcy. “The very first moment I beheld him, my heart was irrevocably gone.”  “I must learn to be content with being happier than I deserve.”  Ah, I love Jane Austen so...

I cannot even convey to him in words how happy he makes me so I certainly won't try to here.

I am happy. I am content. I am lucky. I am excited about my future. I am gratful he constantly makes effort to make me happy...when I am happy, he is happy. When he is happy, I am happy.

Hapiness is lovely, universe. I don't know why I was lucky enough to find it but I am so grateful.

Oh, I cannot wait until we go to Vienna next year! I miss Mollie and Vinny...and I am dying to meet little Elsie...my beautiful, soon-to-be future neice. Justin is dying to show me around Vienna. I guess the last time he took someone to Vienna he didn't really want to be there with her. I can't imagine spending all that money (and he had to pay for everything) on someone you weren't having fun with. I saw a few pictures of him during that trip...he wasn't having a good time at all. She was all smiles but his eyes were weary and closed down.

My goal is to make sure he has the best time ever...to let him show me everything there as he's been saying he wants to...to pay my part without expecting him to pay for everything...to take pictures with his eyes shining with happiness...to help my future sister and give her some rest...and, of course, to finish my first half marathon. It's going to be amazing!

I love being in love.